I’ve been on the Innergetics journey almost seven months now. During these months, I have done a lot of work, peeling off the layers, exposing everything that is not physical hunger! There has been so much to work through!
Each time I go to put food in my mouth and I realise “I’m not actually hungry”, I go through a process of working out — what am I —
- stuffing down
- drowning my sorrows
- storing away to deal with later
And then there is the eating because of boredom, stress or overwhelm. There are the times I am worried and simply prefer to eat than to face the situation.
How often have I, in the past:
- eaten on the run?
- fit in eating between appointments, wolfing down the food at my desk before I get going again?
- taken care of everyone else, and then sat down to a cold & tasteless meal?
- eaten mindlessly – working at the computer or in front of the TV?
All of these ways… setting myself up for failure!
“I can’t do this” – because I’m never quite present when I am eating.
And because I am never “quite present” when eating, I end up missing all the cues that my bodies provides “you can stop now, I’ve had enough“. And inevitably I would end up yucky, crowded, stuffed, tired, uncomfortable and with a foggy brain!
On the other hand, when I have taken time to pause… when I have stopped to truly enjoy the momentous occasion of eating… then I have totally enjoyed:
The feeling, the setting, the company I am with… and the simple pleasure of relaxing afterwards!
It then becomes easier to stop comparing myself to other women – my body to other bodies. I stop competing against another person – or worse yet against another version of myself that was younger, and therefore, somehow “more perfect”. When I take a moment to pause, there is less room for body-shaming and judging myself harshly – there is more room to be compassionate with myself!
Because… at the end of the day – who is judging me? If I live with rules – you can have this, you can’t eat that – at some moment there is guilt. “You broke the rules“… and consequently… there must be punishment! But — who am I punishing?
Dare to change the story!
What are the stories that I tell myself about food? about eating? about myself? about my body?
What are the stories that I am telling myself about my life?
Through these months, as I have been coached through dealing with everything that is not eating – eating has actually become easy! Finally, there are moments when I can enjoy eating and savour each mouthful.
Then I am able to celebrate “total choice” – to eat whatever I want! Understanding and acknowledging that I am physically hungry!
But to reach that place – first you have to deal with the root of the problem. The real question and struggle is identifying:
What do I really need & want?
How am I feeling – right here? right now? When I am completely present within myself and my body – what are the thoughts and patterns that I am noticing?
During this time, I have used mindfulness to carry out body check ins. What are the sensations and thoughts that I have when I take my awareness to my:
- solar plexus
- small & large intestine
- liver, kidneys & gall bladder
What do I really feel when I am totally connected with my gut?
Mindfulness, at that time, also focuses on the questions of:
- Where am I eating?
- Am I stopping to eat – or do I not have time for myself?
- Will I continue “doing” while I eat – not truly doing and not truly eating?
When I honour my body & honour my hunger – I stop! I listen to my body – what does it need right now?
It’s through these moments that I am able to shift my focus to intuitive eating – practicing wholeness & health – mentally, physically and spiritually! The message that I am giving myself when I find time to stop is
“You are important”.
What would it take for you to embark on this journey?